The Instagram photos don’t look like us anymore. My hair was different then, it was its natural color, it was a little longer, and it was in my eyes. Maybe I just couldn’t see you through my bangs. We never even celebrated a Valentine’s Day together. We were over and done with before February, and I didn’t meet you until March. Something about “summer lovin’.” Something about being stuck in the past. Why do I torture myself like this? Your new girlfriend got you a stuffed panda for today. Who cares? My best friend came out to me as agender today. Who cares? She’s cutting off all her hair tonight because she wants to “feel true to herself.” Does having long hair mean she feels false to herself? What would it be like to feel beautiful, just for a day, for an hour, for more than a split second before I truly begin to take in my reflection and see what I might be?

Cover image is a scan of some art from Seventeen Magazine, which I incorporated into a collage.


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